You know that not everything is going to last forever but you don’t really expect things to end so soon either.
What do you do when that happens? When all that you thought that you knew was failing and falling to the grounds right in front of you and you could do nothing but watch?
I watched as everything I feared all played itself out in reality. I was a spectator to the ending of beliefs and relationships. Everything was coming to an end right before me. I stood there watching the strongest woman that I had known do what I have known her to do best – stand strong; hold the pieces of our lives together and back the strongest man I’ve known as he stood in the frontlines taking every shot himself and not letting any of them touch his family. Whereas I could do nothing but watch, still healing from the wounds they never knew of, hiding scars that they never knew existed. 2016 continued with watching.
Never had I felt so helpless, I wanted to help but what could I do? I too was just healing and how to heal was all I knew. So, I did what I could do – heal – we healed together, patching up our broken hearts, mending our trust, bit by bit, a little at a time. We took our humour and we took our sarcasm and made a temporary makeshift blanket of happiness and wrapped ourselves in the warmth of it, I admit that we were not the easiest bunch to deal with, some of us were still too proud to admit that they were hurt, were still fighting battles for all of us, but then again, they also were finally letting us know they were tired. Finally letting us take the front lines in turns. 2016 hinted that it was indeed going to be a cycle of healing, battle scars and temporary fixes.
While life was throwing all the temporary people and temporary fixes, I stumbled across something that I so wanted to be permanent. I was on a go to kick start my life again – brainstorming ideas for projects, taking up assignments – and miraculously failing but still not giving up. Mid-way into one particularly fun assignment (which was also my sort of boss/ favourite person’s idea to cheer me up), I found myself in conversation with this particular stranger who felt so familiar.
“I don’t believe you” was all it took to get our story started. I didn’t know how it’d go or if it’d even go anywhere. But if the beginning was anything to go by, I had a feeling that this was going to be one fucking beautiful story.
Maybe, I dared to hope, just maybe, 2016 was going to be a start of something new.