Silence

What I Fear
is your Silence

How you choose to sit in all quietness rather than spill out
how you brush off your emotions ever so easily
And sleep with your heart still heavy

For now it’s bearable
For now I can hold you
Let your eyes and tightness of your embrace convey
What your lips never may

But what about when
all we have are words to hold us together
And you still choose to not speak.

Loop

We lay
like we have all the time in the world.

Lazy lingering touches,
soft kisses,
no urgencies.

As if slowing down our actions
would slow down the time too,
but it wouldn’t.

So we hold each other tight,
hearts beating as one;
entangled in one another,
not knowing where one ends and the other begins.

We lay
savoring every touch,
memorising every curve and plains,
every bumps and moles
to hold on to.

Till we again,
have all the time in the world.

Why did you stay up so late?

“Why did you stay up so late?”

“I’ve been – ”
Thinking,
remembering,
over thinking,
making up scenarios in my head,
making myself sad,
having mental conversations
that does nothing but make me feel bad
about myself
and insecure,
reminding myself that beneath the strong persona I wear every day,
I’m still the little weak girl,
still too scared,
still not brave.
Not brave enough tell you.
And so I say, “– working on the project I had.”
Wondering when did I take up a project to make myself sad.